Politically Correct Bedtime Stories
June 8, 2008 § Leave a comment
You’re not fat, you’re well-endowned.
You’re not short, you’re vertically-challenged.
Flat-chested? Of course not! You’re athletically-built.
Call them euphemisms, call them PC terms, call them whatever you want but you can’t escape from the fact that you have before and will, in the future, couch your true meanings in prettier words when the need calls for it.
Here’s a book that’s all about that: The Politically Correct Bedtime Stories :Modern Tales for our Life & Times by James Finn Garner. So definitely on my to-purchase 2ndhand booklist.
Sanitized bedtime tales to laugh yourself sick, anyone?
James Finn Garner has taken 12 time-tested tales and retold them with the newfound sensitivity of our times. Here’s a snippet from “Little Red Riding Hood”:
The wolf said, “You know, my dear, it isn’t safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone.”
Red Riding Hood said, “I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be on my way.” (Read the longer excerpt here)
Leap into a fairy-tale world where trolls are “dirt-accomplished and odor-enhanced,” witches are “kindness-impaired,” and Cinderella wears a gown “woven of silk stolen from unsuspecting silkworms.” We can only regret that Garner had to exclude “The Duckling That Was Judged on Its Personal Merits and Not on Its Physical Appearance” for space reasons.
image: by Jennie Harbour @ SurLaLune FairyTales